Alright, men, let’s get real for a minute. Maybe you’ve been feeling kinda stuck—like you’re on autopilot, and every day feels like the same episode of a show you don’t even like. Your wife’s been saying things like, “You never talk about anything!” and you’re thinking, “I do talk! We talk about dinner, about how the Broncos are doing…” But deep down, you know she’s right. Maybe you’ve been avoiding those uncomfortable conversations, feeling isolated, or not as fired up about life as you used to be.

Furthermore, since the pandemic hit, you’ve stopped going to the gym, you haven’t had a bro date with your ‘best friend’ in a year, and you don’t even know what you’d talk about if you got together with a group of friends anymore…

Work is exhausting, your kids always seem to be mad at you, and you feel like you don’t know how to make anyone happy anymore. You find yourself daydreaming about running away to some isolated island to become a surf instructor where your biggest stressor is what flavor of margarita you’re going to order that day.

But since that daydream will probably never turn to reality, you find yourself pouring one too many whiskey-neats before bed at night, replacing intimacy with your wife for websites on your phone, and ‘finding things to do’ at the office because at least when you’re working you feel somewhat appreciated.

Woah — Did things just get real here for a minute?

I know you think you are alone in this, but you’re not. Modern-day family life is stressful and many men find themselves in situations they never thought they’d end up in (and not the ‘good’ kind, either). No one gave you a guidebook on how to handle an inbox full of unread emails, a mortgage that you feel like you’ll never pay off, the never-ending costs for your kids soccer tournaments, and 2 extravagant family vacations a year which usually feel more stressful than relaxing.

You never thought you’d say this but… you think you might need some help. And now you’re here.

Let’s break down 5 common questions men ask about going to therapy:

1. Does Talking About My Feelings Really Help?

It’s a valid question, and the answer is yes. A lot of men tend to bottle up their emotions because, let’s face it, it seems easier than dealing with them. But here’s the catch: those feelings don’t just vanish. They fester, like an untended wound. They tend to show up as stress, frustration, distraction, addiction, anger, isolation, avoidance, or worse..

Research backs this up. Talking about emotions actually reduces their intensity, helping you feel more in control (Psychological Science, Kassam & Mendes, 2013 for all you logically-minded folks out there). Therapy provides a space where you can unload what’s been weighing you down—and learn to handle it better. It’s not about sitting around “venting”; it’s about gaining insight into what’s been holding you back and finding ways to move forward.

2. Can Therapy Help Me Fix My Marriage?

So, things aren’t going great at home, right? Your wife’s been frustrated because she feels like you’re emotionally unavailable, and you’re left wondering how to fix it. Your kids go to your wife when they want to complain or when they need something, then she gets mad at you for having to carry that burden alone. Therapy can help you with that. It’s not just for people on the verge of divorce (please don’t let it get that far) — it’s for anyone who wants to improve their communication, their connection, and their intimacy.

In therapy, you’ll work on understanding your own emotional needs and, just as importantly, your partner’s. It helps you communicate better, argue less, and connect more. Studies show couples who go to therapy experience significant improvements in their relationship (Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, Shadish & Baldwin, 2003). So, if you’re in Boise and your marriage could use a tune-up, counseling might be exactly what you need to get back on track.

3. What if I Don’t Know What to Talk About?

Let’s say you’ve decided to give therapy a shot, but you walk in and freeze. “What now?” you ask yourself. Don’t worry—you’re not expected to have it all figured out from the get-go. Therapy is a process. Your therapist, Dylan Haas, who is our therapist who specializes in counseling for men in Boise, will help guide the conversation. Think of him as a coach who’s been there and gets it, and can help you dig deeper and uncover what’s really going on.

You don’t need to have a plan or know what your “issues” are. Just showing up and being open to the process is the first step. Together, you and your therapist will figure it out.

4. Is Therapy Just Talking, or Will I Get Real Solutions?

A lot of guys think therapy is just talking in circles, but it’s way more than that. Yes, you’ll talk, but the goal is to walk away with real, actionable solutions. Therapy gives you tools you can apply in everyday life. One of the most effective approaches for men dealing with isolation, avoidance, or lack of purpose is Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), a modality that our therapist for men, Dylan, specializes in.

ACT focuses on helping you clarify what really matters to you—your values—and then making choices that align with those values. It’s about finding purpose and committing to actions that support that purpose, even if it’s uncomfortable. Instead of running away from hard emotions, ACT teaches you how to accept them while still moving forward toward the life you want (Journal of Clinical Psychology, Hayes et al., 2006).

In other words, you’re not just learning how to “feel better”—you’re learning how to live better. You’ll leave therapy with practical tools to help you deal with life’s challenges while staying focused on your goals and values.

5. Isn’t Therapy for People Who Can’t Handle Life?

There’s a misconception that therapy is for people who can’t handle life’s problems. But think of it like this: when your car’s engine light comes on, you don’t just ignore it. You get it checked out to avoid a bigger breakdown later on. Therapy is the same thing for your mind. It’s not weakness; it’s smart maintenance. Your brain is like a muscle, and literally works like other muscles in your body. If you work it out, you’ll think better AND feel better.

In fact, research shows that men who go to therapy experience less stress and enjoy better relationships (Psychology of Men & Masculinities, Mahalik et al., 2023). Therapy can make you stronger, more self-aware, and better equipped to handle whatever life throws at you.

The Bottom Line: Counseling isn’t going to kill you. In fact, it will likely help you.

Therapy isn’t about “fixing” you—it’s about helping you unlock the best version of yourself. Whether you’re dealing with relationship issues, avoidance, depression, or just a general sense of being stuck, therapy can help you get back on track.

If you’re ready to take control of your life and get the support you deserve, consider booking a session with Dylan Haas, a therapist who specializes in counseling for men in Boise. Dylan will help you navigate the stuff that’s been holding you back, so you can start living a more fulfilling, connected life.

Ready to get started? Don’t wait for things to get worse. Book a consultation with Dylan Haas today, and let’s work on getting you back to the life you want.